Tantric Transformation
When you decide to step into or explore Tantric transformation,
the tiny yet immensely potent seed has already begun to germinate……
A year ago, I underwent the exact same session content, and that remains the only similarity between my two Tantric sessions. Beyond that, every feeling, component, and experience was entirely new, while also being more complete, compliant, peaceful, delicate, and vibrant...
Firstly, I am delighted and grateful to have met Master Kumar, the founder of this beautiful and purposeful studio, and the warm assistant JoJo. Whenever I share with friends the feelings after my first Tantric experience, I describe it as having turned a deep and core inner gear. You know the transformation is happening, but you can't describe it precisely and concretely, yet, you fully know.
First, you recognize a completely different self. My speech changed, the quality of my awareness changed, and my responses to events changed... This is a more vivid self, more 'original' self.
Tantric transformation helps us shed the dust and shackles on our ego, mind, and body. The baptism of Tantric transformation, for me, was like peeling off a whole thick layer of onion skin (without any dragging) and directly taking you to a completely different level, which I call 'the road home'.。
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The session I chose was "Meditation + Goddess Sensory Ecstasy Feast" and I truly love this combination because it contains all the qualities I wanted to experience.
💓In meditation, I experienced💓
A sense of transcendental clarity. When I focused my awareness on my breathing and every sensation in my body, like its weight, the flow of energy, wandering thoughts, and emotions, this delicacy allowed me to become more sensitively aware of all information about "me". During the chakra breathing cycle, I even clearly perceived the rotation of all seven chakras.
In the meditation segment, I had two different feelings. One was being very conscious of myself or sensing Master Kumar, where the boundary between "me" and "him" was clear and distinct. (The entire meditation part was done with eyes closed, and one of the meditations, "Touch of the Heart" involved both parties alternately touching each other's bodies with their hands, eventually touching each other simultaneously, as if mapping the other's body with hands).
Another experience was, during such introspection, when my consciousness was focused on all sensations, at some point, I experienced the 'disappearance' of 'me.' The boundaries of 'me' disappeared, and this awareness became the awareness itself.
I became the observer, became the seaweed (one of the meditation exercises).
I became the breath, became the rotating energy, became the vibration itself...
※ Writing this, I realize I really have a strong desire to share, even though I have already asked many questions to Master Kumar privately or shared many insights, but the inspiration to speak from within is still flowing. Thus, this sharing will be tagged with my account, and if you have any questions that you'd like to ask someone who has experienced it, you are very welcome 🥰. Because I know sometimes when making breakthroughs, a bit of certainty is needed to push forward. And I just went for it without hesitation because I'm more open to taking risks and new things ※
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Continuing...
💓In the Sensory Ecstasy Series, I was able to taste💓
Deeper perceptions triggered by the physical body when experiencing touch, kissing, and making love with the quality of Tantra. This experience is not just about external physical exhilaration and excitement, but a state of refined and unified condition, where you feel extreme pleasure and at the same time, profound peace and harmony. You first become aware from your body and mind: I am intertwining with a man, how joyful, harmonious, and wonderful. It transforms into, I am blending with everything at this moment... The man in front of me disappeared, and so did I...
The space and the music playing disappeared.
An indescribable feeling quietly emerged, that was the purest 'being.' This interweaving and unity of inner energy was so peaceful, complete, and ultimate...
And it reminds me of what the teacher said after class: "You know, the flow (interaction) just now was a presentation of your interaction with your own masculine energy." My mind went blank for a few seconds, unable to respond, it was just too beautiful...
Yes, no matter the gender, within each of us, there's an 'inner woman/feminine energy & inner man/masculine energy.' When merging with an external object, it is actually through the body that the internal energy states of yin and yang meet. Most people are hard to realize this because ordinary sex has become a simple release. Osho described this kind of sex as 'sneezing,' harmless but not particularly beneficial, just a release, whereas sex with the quality of Tantra is unifying, sublimating, full of vitality and creativity.
After listening to the teacher, I revisited the feelings and transformations of self-love over the past year with a more moved and joyful perspective. During the past year, my quality of self-love was radically different from before; the pleasure brought about by communicating with myself was certainly no less than that with an actual partner. Of course, they are entirely different feelings, but there was no longer a distinction between primary and secondary.
In fact, I haven't made love with anyone this year, but I kept experiencing, during the process of self-love, sensations that were more ultimate and sublimated compared to having a partner or during self-love in the past. That's why I use the term 'self-love,' not 'masturbation,' because for me, self-love is not a substitute for making love; it's not a consolation but an embrace, a joy of self-exploration.
This is why I love Tantra, and it is the most 'body, mind, and spirit' approach I have encountered so far. It does not exclude any experience; it includes everything... My journey of body, mind, and spirit exploration actually started in junior high, so even though I am still young (24 years old) and have limited financial resources, I have experienced and touched many tools/courses/systems/fields, and Tantra has opened up a completely different perspective for me.
Some people might misunderstand Tantra as 'promoting' sex, but it simply does not shy away from discussing sexual energy. Tantra teaches us to accept and embrace everything about 'being human,' and sexual energy is indeed the origin of life, a great creative force, the birth of you and me.
So there's no reason to pursue the more spiritual while discarding the more physical; both are equally important. Nor is there any reason to ignore or avoid exploring and being aware of sex/sexual energy when exercising the body (like fitness, yoga)...
Always stay open, always stay accepting.
Tainan Studio "To be in the world"
Review of the changes over the year after the first Tantra session
I sincerely recommend everyone ready to experience Tantra, when you have enough time, to come to the Tainan Studio "Spiritual Living" to try it out!
This is a space managed by three teachers (Kumar/Ashana/Darshan) with a 'Tantra session space/small classroom (leading meditation & other than Tantra sessions)/an accommodation room (with breakfast & morning and evening meditation guidance)/a comfortable dining area/a large front lawn, and a vast array of books...'
I only stayed for two days, but I felt as if I had been 'living' here for two weeks! Such grounding, enriching, comfortable, joyful... No wonder the name contains the word 'living.' At times, I even felt like I was part of this place! Making the brief stay here make me long to live here longer 🥰
Having the option of accommodation also gave a lot of space for oneself before and after the session (especially the settling after the session is very necessary), allowing one to meet the session experience with a ready and stable heart, and the flow of energy and transformation after class became more conscious!
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Over the past year, there have been many and detailed transformations (because all changes are interlinked), and the previous article mentioned some content, so this article focuses on sharing, the main issue brought out by the last experience: "Contraction of the Third Chakra."
I remember that during the third stage of the ultimate sensory experience last time, it paused midway and ended the session prematurely. The reason was: the sexual energy emerging from my second chakra was very abundant, but when this energy rose to the third chakra, it was like being choked, unable to flow upwards naturally, creating a situation like 'traffic jam, blockage.'
After class, we discussed this situation, which involves issues with my mother, authority, boundaries, and self-worth. This gave me a great reminder, an even deeper opportunity for awareness (I'm not surprised by this because I realized a large part of my issues were related to my mother years ago when I started my healing journey, so I had already made a commitment to actively embrace deeper healing whenever the opportunity arose!)
I also realized that this contraction and blockage of the chakra had already manifested in my 'physical body' (mentioned in last year's sharing), which is every time after making love or self-love, I would inexplicably 'bloat.' It has been troubling for a long time, but since I didn't know the reason, I couldn't improve it, and this actual bloating was just a manifestation of the energy state in the same location—third chakra (stomach area).
In the initial months after the class, I tried to reverse this with an extremely rigid approach, deliberately working on the lower three chakras (yes, not just the third chakra, because the teacher mentioned that my upper chakras were quite open, but the lower three were not very stable, they needed more grounding).
So I tried all means to focus on them, tried to respond to my mother in a more intense way, even deliberately practiced getting angry, to rage, to forcefully express. At that time, I also listened to the audio of the 1,2,3 chakras & meditated every day, which was really overdoing it, overcorrecting 😅, but looking back now, I also wouldn't think that was 'wrong,' because that was my process at the time. At that time, I just wanted to exert that much effort, just thinking about doing well, breaking through, without listening or noticing that it could be allowed to flow naturally. Because what really needed to be done was not to suppress, rather than to indulge in the opposite direction.
When I started to realize, it was time to let go of this excessive effort & attachment, because not only was this not the most suitable way, but it might make the situation even more stuck. So, I gradually let go of this attachment and control, remained alert and aware of all emerging issues, but no longer overreacted or rushed to reverse.
This more flowing and comfortable mindset made the healing, unbeknownst to me, already formed, and beautifully presented in this session experience. From an energy state perspective, both the meditation in the early part and the ultimate sensory in the latter part had radically different qualities.
Teacher's response:
"This time the flow was much smoother, from one to four, the flow of sexual energy could be felt smoothly, the previous obstacles stuck between two and three reduced a lot, a lot of sexual energy smoothly rose up to the heart chakra." (💁🏻♀️I indeed no longer felt any bloating 😊)
"The first session mentioned abundant sexual energy about vitality, creativity, etc., this time it was the presentation of masculine energy, which might be related to previously suppressed inner power, on one hand, it should also be the effectiveness of your third chakra practice, allowing this more masculine inner man more willing to show up. But when it's still immature, it might present a kind of destructive or aggressive state, not that it's bad, but it's just the nature of things, it needs to grow into a mature and neutral state." (💁🏻♀️A new issue brought out by an old issue's crossover, really exciting 😍)
"When we bring our consciousness to different chakras, we can enter the quality of that chakra, if you stay in the moment and comply with the body and energy flow, it can show you the state of that chakra, so breath, sound, and body movements will indeed be different. Your breathing this time was more complete than last time, air is just energy, just through breathing, a lot of healing happens." (💁🏻♀️Also in this part, I clearly perceived each chakra's rotation and its unique differences—such as different rotation amplitude, size/speed 🌪)
These responses from the teacher also became a kind of best confirmation under my serious practice 😌🙏🏻✨️
Compared to the first session experience, the old receded, and the new emerged, was more immediate and more obvious... I think this is related to the environment (Spiritual Living) and my own state (self-practice over the past year)
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After class in the evening, I chatted casually with Ashana, still remember the conversation during dinner, a lot of emotions emerged, I found myself although carrying the fatigue after class, but my sensitivity to everything was clearer. It was a bit like the state after a good cry, very released, very tired, but very pleasant, clear. (This fatigue continued for nearly two weeks)
In the evening, among the many books in the stairwell, I looked at one of them "Tantric Insights." Initially, I flipped through it casually, reading along... gradually getting into it (but actually, I'm not particularly fond of reading)! And was frequently moved, every two or three pages would make me tear up, but most of it was completely without reason! (Meaning that story or that sentence was not of the tear-jerking type)
After returning home, I immediately ordered this book online. At this moment of writing the review, I've already read up to the last chapter 😍
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The next morning, Ashana led the OSHO Nadabrahma Meditation (related to sound), and this was the result I blindly selected the night before. At that time, Ashana organized three, feeling suitable for my current state of meditation, the other two were 👉🏻 Chakra Breathing (chakra breathing) and Nataraj (dance), all Osho meditations.
After the introduction, I was interested in each one, "Haven't played with sound type meditation, seems pretty good," I said, Ashana then asked me to blindly select a number between 1-3, signaling that I would know by morning 😉, I unhesitatingly chose 2, and believed I had chosen the sound one, and indeed it was!
After the morning meditation, with consent, I moved the classroom's sound system to the living room, playing energy-filled music 🎼
At this time, I further realized, the flow and emergence after this class were really profound... Besides more frequent crying, each time the tears had different qualities... I could 'taste' my tears.
Some causeless sadness and struggle emerged, my view is: their emergence, just to be expelled outward. Of course, I could let go of this view too, because it seems not so important.
Later, both teachers returned to their rooms, I stayed alone in the living room, continuing to read "Tantric Insights" with relish...
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Suddenly, a force led me to the dining chair walkway in the living room.
I stood up. Closed my eyes. Began to dance.
I have never had such a clear sensation, this dance, dance posture, dance art with a very primitive power, pulled my body from the inside out.
However, I wasn't like 'being led' because I was fully conscious, but amazingly, at that moment, it seemed not just myself, or rather 'not only myself.'
When my body and mind unified with this force, it was full of vitality, and would change the type of dance with different types of music, but that was very natural. During the eyes-closed period, I never lost balance or bumped into the dining chairs (normally just walking with eyes closed would destabilize me).
At the same time, I noticed that my dance had a kind of constancy and regularity, it constantly presented 'circles' (vertical, horizontal, or three-dimensional), so during the process, there wasn't a moment of interruption or stop because the circle itself has no starting point, endpoint, or turns. Every moment was breathing, every moment was brewing the next moment. Just like this, my dance formed a continuous and non-repeating, cycle and loop.
There was a moment I realized, I was actually using dance as a medium to bless this space to express gratitude, it was like a ritual, a celebration, infusing my energy and blessings into this space through dance 💓. This subtle state was somewhat similar to the second stage of the 'OSHO Dynamic Meditation' I had participated in several times before. At that time, my inner vision clearly emerged a mysterious and divine Indian female dancer, I followed her dance, and became mirror-image dancers with her.
But this time, my inner did not emerge any images, I felt as if I became 'Her.'
At one point, the mind emerged: 'What if the teachers come out of their rooms, come to the living room, what will I do? Will I continue to dance? Do I want to continue to dance? But wouldn't it be nice to be seen? I can show. Perhaps the teachers will inwardly praise, appreciate, affirm me (my mind is also quite cute 🤭)?' In the end, I was fortunate not to be led by these snippets, when the teachers and I were in the same space, there was no difference from when I danced alone earlier, I continued steadfast and focused to complete this, somehow ritual.
The process also included the flow of tears, even the kind that would make you sob, but the body continued to dance non-stop, just continuously observing myself... At some moments, I even felt a tearing sensation, like peeling off some kind of film or outer layer attached to my body and mind.
In the days after returning home, I tried to recreate that flow, but immediately realized, that was a completely different feeling. I could not recreate it again, it could not be replicated. That was a gift of that moment. But at the same time, that gift had already manifested in my life 😌 (so no need to recreate).
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Additionally, during the week after the class, my body underwent an unprecedented 'self-detox' phenomenon, I continuously expelled substances similar to menstrual blood, especially dark & sticky, but without accompanying discomfort (I'm sure it wasn't menstruation, nor a tear), although I noticed this situation, I wasn't panicked. However, since this had never happened, I asked the teacher.
Kumar: "This time's session was more intense, first it might have left some wounds and inflammation on the body, secondly, this time your presentation of masculine energy was vigorous, it might have some meaning of internal transformation, possibly shedding some old energies awaiting transformation, sometimes the body will also reflect such transformations.
I would recommend spending a bit more time to feel and listen to your body, find the sources of these changes, of course, if there continues to be some very obvious physical discomfort, it's still safer to see a doctor.
Try not to too quickly categorize everything that happens into good or bad, or define it as a problem, but just truly feel and accept, patiently wait for the body to show you the answers."
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